Our hopes

ITs here , its finally here . Tmrw is the first showdown of the A divs, and somehow , I cant really say I have done a hell lot for it .
Maybe to me , its my first official race experience , I'm more overwhelmed with anxiety and uncertainty , more then the usual fear-mixed-courage and anticipation from others who have seen more than i have .

Today we went over to Bedok for a final check of equipment , had a light paddling sessiion , more psychological than physical based activities , so as to let ourselves be at ease with the environment . IT was actually quite quiet over there , much less than the crowding that was to be expected , and did we get that glimpse of it on Sat , during the offcial boat control .
Yeah that was when we saw all those schools flaunt their branded boats , all the NELO Vanquishes that was the main attraction, the tons of REGGATTAs and LIANGJINs , some more obscure brands whose names i cannot pronounce nor remember from the Northern European country imports ..


That aside , so then had a final briefing of the race days events layouts , logistics , and some mental preparation . Its the kind of feeling which the tension permeates the air yet you know that you're not the one feeling the real tensed up , because after all , my qualification to compete is still underdeveloped.

But yet , the comes with along the sense of belonging to the team , even though this batch isnt really "my" batch , the closeness bonds forged over the past short month did i start training with them . The slaps of the shoulders exchanged and the hand shakes , hugs , words of encouragements , really mattered a lot . Because its now then the sport transforms into a team sport , and we dun race for the individual , but not to let down the hopes we hold for one another .

Putting myself in the shoes of the seniors , its those long years behind the experience , the hardships they must have went thru together , much like how we are now , the countless times we urged one another to perserve on , it sifts thru time to remind us once again .

Which is why it means even more when the captain held your hand shake and stared straight and beseeched u to take down the race proudly , to have the senior girls holding back on the verge of tears and maintain the posture to "scold " and demand u bring back results , to have your own teammates hugging close , and yourself resisting the sensation and tears that threatened to flow . Its not a sign of weakness , its but a show of humanity in its deepest form




This said and done , I now pray not only for myself , but my team , even to all the competitors , for wats a competition without each other? Whatever may befall us , i ask only for strength and protection beyond any human capability , but God alone can.

More than winning

That didnt really sounded politically correct , but it manages to leave such an imprint in me . NO for this Nationals A div race , it'll be unlikely i'm gonna pit myself against any other racers.
Well technically i still will have to participate and race with em , but its not so much of a competition , not for me at least , if otherwise those schools start sending their years 1s to race . For now , my participation is a race against myself , a suitable competitive environment to push myself beyond my usual grounds .

Much as i am relucutant to succumb to pessimisim , there my aim is not to get last in the race , if possible , to progress beyond the first Heats race . That , to me is breaking new ground . Though not entirely satisfying , it will serve its purpose and i'll be contend.
GOd, help me to fufil what was meant to be mine , not any more , nor less , lest i miss the lessons to be learnt behind all those hardships


But it still bugs me : why compete if not to win?

What is my defination of winning? "ITs to yourself", someone says , and for that moment i understood why down the ages pple always say to beat yourself before beating others . I have not yet conquered my own comfort zone , neither have i really taken on the burden of competitive racing , i do not yet know what am i able to achieve . So its just me and the previous records of timings , my competitors are but externalities that provide a target and an inspiration, one on one .

If i could win myself , you'll neva beat me .


ANd those BSing pple , i could only forgive and let go .... Its ok , i've been there , and i know what it felt like ....

Beyond the CT

Woah ...





Right its the aftermath of the CTs which offered us a glimspe of the progress we are making in school curriculum . Go blog surfing and you'll find almost every school's students hurling obscenities at everything that contributed to the misery . And its not any better for me , no but i refrain from staining this site ( i'm not such a vulgar person dun ya think) .

ITs a whooped U for maths , which was much expected considering i only touched it the last few days available . And a mind blowing C for physics , which i was most pissed with since its the sub i spent most time in and was more confident ... C for physics , guess no H3 for me , not if only some miraculous coincidence comes knocking .



NO space for regrets , since i hadnt really committed much in studying , cept for those study sessions with team or after training study at bishan lib , much of which productivity was an all-time low . But serious , i dun want to have to make it this way . I wasnt born to accept circumstances imposed limitations without a struggle , even if i'm going in an exam hall with nought knowledge of it i'll squeeze every available mark out of the questions with homemade theories , special logical derivations and skillfully phrase explanations that even i find quite interesting even though they were out of place ... ( i wrote a paragraph full of explanation and justification of my answer in the maths paper )







Back to training issues , there doesnt seem to be any turn of luck . Bad bad bad average timings that make me wonder what the hell am i participating in the race at all ... Ending up in a weird race , at a weird time , with weird competitors , shat i might as well be training just so that i wont get last in the race and malu in front of the crowd . Its not consoling to know that there'll be tons of others i know around to see me lagg behind the pack which , i dun really want to admit . Its what we speak into existence that can affect the way it happens . After all didnt God say " let there be light " and there was light?



Man i've been missing church too often its becoming a norm . Makes me feel guilty that i'm not feeling guilty for doing so . Duh









OK training today after school was kind of wrapping up the loose ends so that they dun trip u over when u're trying to utillise them . INstead of chionging to clock timing again , this time we were given the freedom to go out on our own , go own time own target , focus more on technique and familiarization , visualization . Not that it didnt help , but i kinda lost my aim and wandered off to my own world .

PLus the fact that TPJC was around playing afool at the pontoon , clogging up vital channels , making their presence truly felt , irritating everyone . Ah MJC popped out of nowhere , but they sticked to the unwritten rules and kept out of our business likewise we did our best to accomodate . IN the end it was still a mess . And since the rest of the J1s joined us today , ah , so we went overtime again .



In addition to the short sprints with the seniors , I managed to get myself arrowed for K4 near end of training . Went a few rounds with RS,GJ and Nic . Well , the K4 was a good springboard and stepping stone to getting confience in K boats paddling , since they given somewhat controlled stability enough to start paddling , but once gotten familiarized with K1 , K4 became a nuisance. Its like once u gotten fine tuned to the motion of sustained paddling , u get the feeling of each and every rock , tilt , lean , list , how they fare , what they lead to , how dangerous , how to react to it .
So systematically u'll come up with a mind programming known as habits which are unique to yourself . But in a K4 , this neva works . Even more that i'm at the back , my movements are felt the most by the others in the boat . Movements that i am familiar with , that i know are not dangerous , and which i know can e constructive , like the mini tilts when recoverying strokes , but not so to others who developed a different sets of habits such that they react so completely different to u ... Multiply that by 4 and u have a very slow K4 ...
And since most of them very hum when paddling , m given my vantage position at the back which allows me to oversee everyone and more control on boat , me many times purposely give them violent but controlled jerks to scare em to moving offf .... whoo sry me not trying to act seh here hahax






Ah ok some other intersting things , and since i sorta promised Nic to post abt him ... Yeah today Chris was perpetually stuck to him thruout ... Or maybe not just so happens that when i return for breaks in between sets , passing by always see em together , Chris cap Nic was towing her , Nic tailing her from behind ... Eh not my fault that i just so happen to see this everytime , so cant blame me for thinking so hahax ...
And yah dinner time since eating together , and the lack of seating made us split 3 ways , with 3 differnt conversation topics ... My table talking all serious stufff :future trainging , issues abt the team , exams etc ... RS's table all talking abt something abt comparing who armpit hair long ???
3rd table was Chris who's still with Nic, and i dunno wat they takl talk talk abt ... That being so , chris was asking me to sit with em if not like a bit ostracising them lahx ...

ME tactfully turned it down for obvious reasons : it takes skill to be an effective light bulb .

The holidays revisited

ANd so time has proven itself impossible to retain save for in memories . Coming to a concluding phase of the june holidays , tot i should do a post as a summary .

Yeah much have happened within the 4 week span , spending some time as a reflection , I'm quite amazed by how much that have passed and i havent gotten a grasp of everything ...
Though much of the holidays are spent in training , those long mundane days that ever seem so repetitive of itself , but yeah its been a good long holiday that provided time to sharpen up the skills in the K1 ....

And ever since i passed that stage , leaving the clumsiness of basic boat handling , transffered over to bedok for training with the seniors , kinda learnt a lot , both in skills and intellectually .
Knowing the senior team more closely , despite their extreme small size , bout 11, 12 pple max , but yeah that kind of size for a team makes good for everyone to be close to each other. No one gets left out , everyone's involved kind of relation , its a kind of closeness outsiders might not fully understand , cos even me , i find that yeah the seniors are really closely bonded , and i might not fully integrate into them ... After alll i am but from another batch ...
It leaves quite something for us to think abt and learn , to make the same out of our own batch . What do we have , at the end of the day , as a batch , what legacy , what impression are we to leave behind to our next batch of juniors? How are we going to do ourselves and the name of the team proud?

ONe thing that i found out , that these batch of seniors , the 2nd batch of SAJC canoeing , are actually the first actual batch to receive a full 2 year training program as a team ... Prior to that , the pioneer batch didnt really had time to fully prepare. And hence this year , The A div Championships , this batch holds a promise to their seniors , a promise to take "revenge" , a promise that they'll not let down the efforts of the pioneers .. Quite impactfull actually when coach was briefing them abt this reminding abt the promise the other day ... Briefing them as a batch , analysing them as a batch , while i was sitting along side , absorbing this rare chance to see the seniors batch 's past and deeper experience ... Each and everyone of them has seen a lot more i havent got to see ... HOw the team started out , the days they were at kallang , then to jurong then to bedok . Like a sort of a shared team history . This is their history , this is their legacy .
They have come thus far , and i believe that there's nothing more worthwhile to be able to see the the live action the growth of the fruits of one's own labour . To know that every sweat every minute spent in the boat goes a long way back and mean a hell lot of difference when put to the ultimate test . To have no regrets ...

And when their share of the show has ended,its up to us to create our own share of that history . We may not be the best , we may not have taken back every medal in the championships , but its the process of fighting for it thats worth reliving .





Ah ok enough of emo crap .... Some of the things i find intersting that happen during holiday


1) Finally setting clean record of zero capsize in a single training day . Nonetheless , still have random booms here and there on rare occasions

2) Getting stuck in seaweed bed in seletar reservoir .

3) Crapping at guang jie's hse after trainings to "study" session ending up as watch tv mahjong and what-not

4) Nearly causing the boat to sink while towing back yong's downed SwiftRacing K1 ... Bad management of inertia , conservation of momentum , applied too mcuh force end up i jumped out my own boat to hug his boat till reach pontoon ... Otherwise its a $1000 donation to the reservoir

5)Taking K2 with Jon Gan with which we turned the sprint kayak into a sprint submarine ..( me 73kg + him 77kg =150 kg ) We sat in the boat so low in the water , our fore deck was barely out of the water surface .

6) During an after training free "training" period , me , tzetian , edmund , wai kit,rafting up at the far side of the reservoir to take a MEGA wash from the wakeboarder's powerboat . (yes a bloddy wakeboarder in the reservoir !~!?) Felt like a washing machine

7) laughing at joshua and hanming who capsize also because of a similar MEGA wash

8) Cursing some ITE's dragonboat team who went on a rampage charging wherever they were at , including while i was trying to park at the pontoon ... ( Imagine u trying to maneuver a K1 to park and then a dragon boat came at charging at u )

9) Earning the rights to use the two LiangJin K1s ... Wooo smoothest boat i used ... Too bad i overweight for the Regatta ....:-/

10)Did the most spectacular recovery in my short kayaking experience ... ME was near the bedok reservoirs first bay when i lost balance ... Went all the way down nearly 80 degrees before i responded with a last minute brace and pulled myself upright again ... ( my elbows were already in the water ... had i acted slower i might as well have done a complete roll)


11) Imitating VJC pple to drink reservoir water using the wing paddle as a scoop

12) Getting pricked by the carbon fiber from my wing paddle while i was admiring it :P

13 ) Achieving personal best K1 500m timing with the aid of a 12 knot downwind :P

14) getting scolded for cutting 3 lanes while sprinting sets .

15) Blatantly giving backwash to TPJC's C rowers who attmpted to tailgate me

16) Enjoying hot water showers at Temasek Poly after trainings

theres a lot more ... i shant list everything



OH yah in addition i realised that during this holiday period ... A lot of pple have gotten Girl or Boy friends ...


1)Jin Kahn who so randomly gotten an RGS girl whom he said was his Goddad's daughter ....

2) Natty (RJC) who showed up at coffe bean with some SA girl but till now i dunno who the hell was that

3) Zany (NJC) who i saw at khatib with some VJ girl and later confirm is his GF

4) Marcus(NYJC) who i saw at Upp thomson while having dinner with team , holding hands with a girl

5) Nicholas and Christine from team who just recently confessed being together ... WOOOOO

Training with a goal

yeah i'm back in Bedok now since this week ............
Supposedly for the lack of equipment so only a few of us are now training with the seniors .Bloody random though these few days the J1s are too returing to Bedok to train for some undisclosed reason ... That leaves those boats and Seletar left untouched ... So much for efficient usage . WOnder y the thell we shifted em to seletar in the first place..


And yeah also i'm doing good now on the K1 . Havent had a legal capsize for quite some time now so maintaining the good luck streak
( illegal capsizes not valid ... INcludes random capsizes off the pontoon , cap while scratching face , drinking water playing etc etc ... )

BUt the problem now is my fitness still rather off limits when put comparison to the rest of the team ... True i may have a certain headstart advantage when training with the seniors , having more water time and making them more productive by going long distance (>10km) . BUt the fact is it does not really mean a lot . HOw much i can fare as a racer would really depend on how long i can sustain , how much efficiency my lungs would provide , how rapid my muscles can recover . These are all the fundamental issues and wat all racers compete with each other .

HOw much do i dare to dream , how far would i go for this dream , all that hardship and time spent condensed into one race that determines the worthinesss of the efforts , and also of our very own competence ... How long would it take for me to break , when would i start thinking of slackier alternatives is determined by how strong my mind would stay ... Its not easy , no one ever said it will be

I need to train , i need to train , i need to train ... BUt how long would my mind remain faithful to me and keep reminding myself this ...



Oh , and we just lost another guy today ... sad sad sad , wat really happened i dunno , but i reached only to be told we've got one more casualty who was bombed by coach during the earlier session of J1 training ... dude , this suck ... the team is beginning to take shape and now this ...
Wth pls stop pls stop , i wont grumble of the lack of equipment , i wouldnt be choosy between the Tropical or SwiftRacing boats , i wont grumble of having to take paddles 10cm too long for me ... PLs bring my team back to me

Pull me up !!!!!!!!!

THAT SUCKED


YES it does .... When after so much and so far at least there might be a reward for all that work . WTH has it really all gone down the drain?



Shat, training today was a real wake up call for me .
Pre-training training from MR Q who so randomly turned up at the reservoir in the morning to give us PT ... Wait , thats not a complain nor grumbling , its me who has failed to make the mark . All went fine till it reached to have to do pull-ups .
And i failed the test miserably .... BLoody HeLL wake up your Idea !!!! Its june now !!! ANd I still cant do body weight sets .... So end up Tian had provide support at the quads to pull me backwards when i pulled up , so that more of my effort could be directed at pulling up instead of resisting the natural tendency to swing and squirm ... Support!!! Support for pull ups !!????!! I thought that was but a thing of the past ....

Wats with all those breaks spent at the back gate pull up bars ??? (back gate bars , cos too paiseh to do at fitness corner ) ... Shat , so much with all those talks abt fighting for racing slot , so much for thinking abt beating the best .... At this rate , that shall be a thing of coffeeshop talks if u still rely on others to even do pull ups ...

wake up YANG wake up ....

K4 , like nothing in the reservoir

Right since so long did i properly manage this blog ...





Like some of the progresses over the time when i wasnt around , including more and more trainings .

Now since holiday started the training schedule is like everyday , plus the fact that have to rush study for the common test when school reopens . Pretty much rips off me any much available spare time , and now I'm gonna have to miss several session off the EMERGE conference ..... Shat man time is really running past fast , in a zoom the week is ending and i didnt really have a lot of time to reflect abt it ... Other than Mon and Tues which i went for the NUS physics lectures with Nigel ... All memories abt it is a blur lost within the not so deep waters of Bedok reservoir ...

Haix

Good thing is , hahax theres good progress in training . I just managed to earn my rights to the wing paddle , actually not so much as earn it , seems that everyone's getting their chance to use , a much coverted piece of equipment that was yet so sacred and holy (due to the Nick's incident with illegal usage of the wing that almost got him booted from the team) .



KEy events is that for the past two days , much of my water time was spent playing around with the new K4 ... Coach basically started experimenting with various combinations of crews for the K4 and also to train the drivers for boat control .
Aye first trip down , Wai kit at the helm ,Wee Ling and Guang Jie and Me at the back . Had to try to coordinate our movements ; any slight jerks or weight shifts was well felt by everyone else in the boat , which may be disastrous when we were moving at those speeds typical for K4 sustained movements . Overall good balance and it felt real shiok to be reaching into the realm of higher level speeds ...

Next trip down , Ling and Jie replaced by Matt and Nelson taking the middle two seats . The crew this time was screwed right from the start . Right off the pontoon we faced a leftward list partially contributed by me (whoops) and wobbly jerks . This time round, didnt succeed in any proper sustained paddling. Every few strokes we faced a bad jerk which we braced water to maintain balance .
In addtion to the fact that we failed to proper communicate our intentions to move , so whenever one person leans slightly to the right , someone else would think we're losing balance and hence try to counteract by leaning left . Which then sends a signal to the first person to lean right even more to counter this counter-action. Bad time , we ended up oscillating all the way to the far side of the racing lanes before all these mistakes compounded into a big counter-jerking so much that we cap'd ! Ouch , end up having to be rescued by seniors ... Dam tedious work just to bring back a downed K4


Yeah but end up it was me and Wai kit stuck in the K4 on permanent taxi duty and serve as a crew to let others have a try out on the K4 , after which we were rotated out to rest individually . Yong at the helm was equally a joke as us . THink it was Ling and someone else (probably Qian , or is it?) and me behind , then Yong was happily doing a perfect complete paddle motion that included full body twisting , save the fact that this caused his stroke frequency to be downright klutz. End up the three of us behind paddled in unison in fast, light strokes, while Yong was lost in his own world in slow, complete strokes . No insult but it kinda made us look like clowns looking from the shore ...

Best combination was yet was the time Jack ,Eugene (who were originally K2 partners already) , HuiQin and me , which hence made me the noobest rower in the crew ... Relatively stable save for minor jerks which were a nuisance when rowing ... Guess i was too nervous , esp when they decided to start sprinting .
Gosh i had to squeeze all my will not to make any unnecessary movements lest they be amplified under the speed we were moving at . Trying to keep up with the frequency was manageable , keeping still was much harder... But aye ultimately , hahax the K4 is really cool :D ... Felt as if we could take on a fully crewed dragonboat anytime ...

Hahax could have described a few more trips but i seriously need go study ... Nvm ....

What am I to say

Never had there been since a day like one in which we were to enjoy ourselves if not looking forward to yet another . Nor will we fail to relish and relive each moment spent with friends whom just seem unseperatable. And it seemed so real , but time and again time itself has proven what things could turn its tables on you , just right when you're not looking , and time flies by and you find yourself at a loss of actions and words and things have become too late and too little . (Duh y did I type that for ?)

Bedok > Seletar ... for now
Aye nvm . Right so since whence has blogger decided to take my buisness again . Its been messing up for the past weeks , and i havent really sorted it out . Trainings have been rather unfruitful the past weekend. NOw that we've shifted over to seletar , i thought that should have been a new fresh start from which we could pull away from the misery. Wishful thinking ... Now i love Bedok ever more that before . Nah not i dun like seletar , its still too early to make direct statements , but the first impression hasnt reallly made be very impressed.
The training came and went with me having zero water time ... Basket i was at the shoreline testing out the new water condition and helping pple launching the boats off cos the makeshift pontoon were crowded with dragonboats in prep for the race going on next day . And mind u the water is so full of crap , mud grass weeds algae twigs , u name it . And they actually drink from it. So happily went for abt 5 mins , then so rapidly did the patch of big bad black clouds assume blasting position hover on top of us we were caught off guard when the first bolt crashed some fraction of a second away only. Alarm sound all to evac and head back up .

Amidst thunder and lightning striking too cloase for comfort we grudgingly moved the boats quickly back in b4 the heaven started to refill the reservoir . And we had to do Land fitness training in the boat shed cos coach deemed it fit and that we had nothing to do while trapped by the rain. Moving around the confined space we started on all those star jumps crunches push up . Dam no paddling at all . None .

All right so seletar aside theres still more to put forth as a unpleasant fact faced .

First is , because of the resettlement issue , the reamining two precious wednesday trainings for J1 is cancelled cos J2 still training at bedok , and coach neva managed to master astro-space particle physics , shape-shifts , and fen shen shu. So he cannot be at two places at one time .

Second , since we split two ways , the resources available too becomes shared . True at seletar we have a more private space against interference and proper facilities like the shed and toilet etc . BUt the limitedness of the boats is a frustrating fact that most just cant seem to get over . There isnt enough to go around , and JESUS didnt do the " turn water into boats " miracle , nor fed us five paddles two boats. And we wont find 12 baskets worth of leftover boats anywhere .


Our precious water time :( ..............duh