So much more that have passed , a bit older now , so to say, as much as i would want to record down all t hose little side lessons learnt from life in detailed acccounts , never really having got to work untill they're just fragments of useless thoughts.

So what have passed?

Training for marathon , birthday, rotting around , Prom, marathon and the Perth trip. What do i have to say? Loads.
Not now i guess, its in the peak of the afternoon and there's something else to do. Well i made that up.
Sometimes i wonder now that A levels are over, where have everybody gone?

For everything that's yet to be done, to all as it seems, its over.

Oh yeah or so it feels like. Except for that physics mcq paper that lurks tmrw, otherwise, A levels, woh, what an end.

The finishing didnt really feel that bad, its always the period leading up to it that feels like the darkest moment. Appears to be so, since almost everyone, including myself, would try to compare how it feels like to O levels times. Same MOE thingie, same system, just 2 years apart. Makes it all the more natural to link the two periods together.

Which is more stressful? I cant tell, its all the same. Being ever optimistic seems to have its pros.


BUt otherwise, yea now thats what got me stuck in the sch library here now with pretty much nothing much better to do than walk around and do some random practice. THey say the last fight is always the most spectacular, and i agreed.
They just never said that it applies for exams, and even more not so with a weirdo time table like this . ZZZ


SCHOOL!~~~
Whatever not is there to be missed, which amounts to plenty, all those things yet to be done and faces yet to be seen and greetings not exchanged. Worries, toilings , amusement, learning, growing up .

Yea growing up.

Guess today, or tomorrow at least, walking out the school gate would hold great meanings. As when stepping into the school compound for the first time about 2 years back, we've all changed. Safe to say, we've all grown up. We've all been shaped into what we are now, its time to move on. Yea tmrw , tmrw it is.

I'll feel lost after exams, without trainings , without a team to belong to , without a purpose or timetable to follow. Yes its time , time to grow up.

This close , I guess i have nothing much to say.

Its here at the doorstep, taking on the role of a proper student again. An exam to face. THE Exam to face. While melancholy seems to dangle in the air, stress levels, long absent, transcends to stratospheric levels.

Maybe its not the stress of the exam, its the anticipation, the impact it could potentially have on our future.
Ironic it may be, for what we thought a demi-potent human, has to enslaved by paper. Literally.
Much things to care about, much more left to be done. I would have learnt to appreciative of such lifestyles , studying studying and more studying, at least there's a purpose to what we do.

If God is present in this, then let it go according to that divine plan ordained for our good. I'm tired, like , tired. I want my life back, but i don't know what kind of life would i get back.

I wish you were here with me again..

So then may this testify to the hurt you've inflicted, and may I earn my right to appear blameless like before, in due time.



Ouch. I swore i could hear the shatter.

We seek continuosly after a destiny we believe that was available to claim, or so to say a future in sight, the way we were taught to achieve our goal. Yes studying is the socially accepted highway to a better life , a better career , and goes on.

But no one ever said that path was easy to take.


Perhaps its not saturated yet, would there ever be a point where i could say that , yea, i'm done studying, everything i need to know , i know. That was the point, what if we were to be given another month to study, would i learn to appreciate it? Still to say that in this given amount of time, this two years in JC , its those who makes the most out of his time wins. In each respect of course, well i could spend two year hidden from the civillisation mugging my brains off, and get my As, but that, would i really have won my part of the fight?


Looking back, maybe there were regrets, bad decisions, bad management and insufficient efforts. Yea get it over with done with, we all like to say. BUt right before the exam , wouldnt one more day of efforts seem so precious to us?

I looked on, and waited for that time to pass, and i realised that i'll rather have sealed off my heart and retarded the pain. And so we enter the final stages of the MOE shield, finally after the 12 years, or say like eugene mentioned the 99.1234556% of general education, yea, maybe its time for the wild hearts and brave souls to taste the real world.

PpLe around me are turning 18, a threhold of young adulthood. So i assume that while we're no longer the young and naive we were, theres still more to be leaernt and embraced.


For now yet, we brace for the next adventure ahead.

Ayee , i was supposed to have quite a bit of thought to put in , but upon logging it most of it was gone.

HOw should i put it , this is supposed to be those most memorable times in jc, or rather , because thereafter there wont be anything much to remember since today was offically the farewell assembly. Something that we denied existence of, something that we all believed it was still going to be a while more before it came. Yes , JC IS OFFICALLY OVER. BUt like the sppech person today on stage, i agree too , it still hasnt set into me yet, and still wont.

And unlike what all those emo-mongers predicted, it wasnt like a sniff-sniff crying event, nor did pple hug each other in tears and proclaiming words of best-fren-forever and the likes. And no romantic guy went up to stage to confess to his girl. Just songs , plenty of happy memories, taking pic, and busy collecting presents and listening to speeches. In other words , it felt like JC-2-Day.


Cools and know what, it hasnt sink into me. JC is over. *shrugs*



We've all come through all those things a JC student i supposed to have been, looking at juniors rush and frolic over their pw is somewhat quite interesting and thinking back about those days when we too were engrossed in it. Its always like this that things when we look back at it, it becomes fun and interesting and memorable, but while in the midst of it, it stinks.

Well , let me try to get a little more into the mood....






Oh wells, it just wont come. I'm like stuck here in school , for a lonely graduation day because something fouled up and the supposed classs outing went bonks. Its not like its the first time i'm left out, ok not left out, just owing to the circumstances there isnt pple to be around. Makes me realise too how narrow my social circle is.


Past week or so spent stuck in the sch lib too , mostly alone. Still again , i think my old problem of mild autism is starting to kick it no thanks to the constant retaliation of books. I dont talk much, people have reflected to me that it makes pple less willing to talk, and all the more makes it harder for me to talk to other people, and so the cycle goes. That being said , its saying that i'm expected to try and be the one taking the initiative to keep conversations alive. Yet i find it quite a chore to keep thinking of new topics or catch phrases to do that. Not that i'm not interested though, just it takes a wee bit more effort in some than in others. Not complaining, just, yea do bear with me when i happen to mess up logic with fact.




I'm worried for A levels. Like wow, i dont think i need to speak on behalf of pple to know that ,there are pple who still keep fresh memories about being a freshman in junior college. Exams are nearrr , scarily near , its a make or break, and we're here to make our mark.


Bidding goodbye to green berms, welcoming the touch of blue slacks. It seems like yesterday
Yea and in a few more month i'll have to welcome the ugly digi-camo pants.

And fully going on, an amazing week that flew up and again.

Save the fact that A levels looms in the shadows ahead, while we work so hard to try to find a way thru the tunnel. Once set in tracks, there doesnt seem to be an alternate junction to switch. No its not in my mind to want that either.


SAJC tea reception on Wed, a farewell of sorts for our beloved sportsmen of the school. Or so its supposed to be. That short video comprised of our years worth of effort, of team-hood and growth. For every sport team therein, a closure and a handing on.

Coach had us reflect on the meaning behind viewing the video. How hard was it for you, in your years in the sport, to raise a fist and punch the air in triumph? It means a lot hey, because only a select few would get to do it. The euphoria , of even just winning beyond expectations, of reaching a pre-determined goal, and seeing yourself through it. And i guess, there were times i felt that way too. One little moment, one chance to live it.

Yet I find myself at this stage, far from the flaming passion of the sport. The time spend at the books erodes one's conviction if left unattended.



Paddling on saturday served to reassure myself that i would not completely fall away from rowing. Coach's nelos arrival was the perfect excuse for some of us to take the opportunity and find back ourselves at the reservoir. No stress, no limitations , just a boat , a paddle and the boundaries of the reservoir.


Studied somemore after that. Facing the failure of my quest to shed the dependancy on other pple when revising work. Yes its effective and productive to study alone. But sometimes , it gets miserably lonely.. So having someone around, keeps me sane.


Churched again, finally finding back a chance to mix around with people , however short. Makes me feel like a new friend once again, welcomed, treasured and much of interest.
Not that i seek after that , but so long have fell away since JC , not having been active in the events nor attendance in church. Having someone to be mutually accountable in such matters does help.

And hence it was a decision made that long ago, this was where i shall be rooted, whether in sound doctrine or just the church-culture uniqueness to stick to. Because if i was to go to any church on sundays, i might as well be back at my home church, where to some certainty a word is to be received.

If a word from God that could change eternity is to be spoken, then heck , i am not taking the chances and miss out on it.

I think long accepted that fact, that once this thing is done with, sports season is over, the J2s, or if you would call that , the classes of '08, we fade to the background. School for the past weeks were spent in the library, ( cept for that once i ponned and got caught on the way out but got away anyway) , selectively choosing the lessons to go for.

Somehow, the class is getting closer, not in a fact that, thats how much a short hectic JC stay can get us close enough. We're pretty much on our own i guess, some teachers and frens around to get by and then, ultimately the responsibility for keep the pace of revision falls on our own shoulders.

At this start of a new month , barely 2 months from biggest goal of JC life, its time to stop a while and think. Prelims are here i know, but they dont mean a thing compared to the real deal. Just a couple months ago i was entrenched in the trance that all that there was a kayaking showdown come A divs.

Keeping fit was life, attending training was life at its best.


To put it that way, a time for everything in its season.


And now the time is not for that. However much time we spent preparing for our races and everything, its over, seemingly way in the past. (i'm getting fat all over again)


Just for keepsake , all that is happening, to treasure the time we still have together, as schoolmates,classmates teammates wateva. Jc is coming to an end soon. I'm still guilty of not treasuring quality time. It makes even the more worthwhile to think about it. We're not the hotshots we thought we were. Batches come and go, someday, we're all but a beautiful history, both in our and other's minds.

A history worth remembering , a love worth giving.