Woh ok so now i'm multitasking .
Task 1 : Watching church service online, via the live webcast, cos i woke up late and missed service AGAIN
Task 2 : Meeting my PW groupmates online and coordinating some discussion .
Task 3: Doing online research on PW
Task 4 : Doing EoM
Task 5 : Attempting to blog about the past week but no mood .
OK i try again later cos now abit busy ....
The weekend then was filled with many events that makes life complicated yet exciting . Well its not the surface that matters but hell yeah its everyday a new level of learning and experiencing first hand .
Right , Friday .
Whacky days never seem to lack around . Maybe its just me , or the people i choose to be around with , but yet , I still don't feel the closeness as a class . NOt a complain , definitely not , the fault is with me , and i just so happen to miss almost every other class bonding activities there is .
Like the speaker workshop during Orientation 2, class outing at sentosa , Learning Journey , various after lesson hangouts .
ITs not that of the way things are meant to be . Which also makes me think back the times in Pae 07s07 .
Not perfect , but it stood as a standard to look out for .
Still on Friday , ah ... Econs test which i ermx , threw it away literally .
EG :
Qns : With reference to Figure 1 , explain how blah blah blah ....
My Ans : The extract gives a good view . However , cross referencing to extract X ... blahblah .....
Ah nvm . And thereafter , met up with the canoeist to go for team dinner downtown .
Changing appettite , which has similar ambience and food as cafe cartel the other day , which has similar ambience to swensons , which has similarity to pizza hut , which has similarity to Macdonald's , which has similarity to Food Junction , which has similarity to S11 (or VARI NICE ) , which has similarity to any old kopitiams u find in HDB estates ,
In which price range has no resemblance to any of the Swenson's or Cafe cartel's .
After that , gathered round at Marina's Square outside large stairway for a briefing and Team Elections .
And always we think about ourselves as the juniors , leaving bigger issues to the seniors , taking a backseat , picking it up at our own pace .
With the elections right before us , its awake up call .
Cap- Eugene
V.Cap-Ceyong , GuanJie
Logistics - ME , Jack
Treasurer- QianWen
Small crew , but big vision . With the passing on of duties , now when people say Team SAJC Canoeing , its us , not them anymore .
And it came rather as a surprise , not cause i cant do nuts , but rather how much am i worth to everyone else to shoulder it . I dun want to have to let pple down , much less myself . HOw will I ever make it out and do it the right way , and i hope i am not sending out a wrong signal to pple around me .
Talked alot about the team , openly , and see the passion each holds for the future , its not gonna be easy , as was stated out right at the start . We are not hoing to remain stagnated , for each year holds a greater future .
After being dismissed , hung back for briefing on the next day's NCC race . 10km . Adminstration and basic race layouts , tactics , lookouts , and tips . Using a simple whiteboard and markers and hands for illustrations , how to overtake , turning , watching , clearing , starting , disaster prevention ( capsize or collision )
.
BIg time , lasted quite long , but nevertheless yet another learning experience . Kinda like those sailing competitions and races , which actually sounds rather cool .
Ah shall talk abt the race tmrw , now very late
OOO yah and to add , God never fails to amaze me with things that comes out of the usual way .
IT was rather late after the gathering and briefing and after Yong boarded his bus . Abt 12 am or so , opp Marina square and i was waiting for 162 .
Seemed to take forever , as more and more pple piled out of the esplanade . Getting really frustrated , cos its late and i am tired and there's a race tmrw . Decided against open cursing for its rude and it wont help the situation .
Mumbled a short prayer , more like a self encouragements . Its not like those long exaggerated prayer nor chanting in the movies .
"Father , I need a bus , Can YOu help ?"
Well there wasnt a audible verbal reply , ( If there was , you're gonna hear it in the headlines )
BUt a few minutes later bus 162 finally came
When i boarded tried to tap card as usual but the machine didnt register . Bus driver said in chinese " shang che shang che , ji qi huai diao liao " --- " Get on the bus , the machine's spoilt"
OK that good so i get a free ride .
And then the driver got up , open the top panel from the front , removed the BUs service no. plate , then got off the bus , removed the no. plate on the outside , and returned to the bus to receive "what -the -hell" gazes from everyone on board .
Annoucing this time in English " Machine spoil , if you want to alight just press the bell "
And so he sped off , literally , not accepting any more passenger . And since there wasnt much pple on board , and all them inculding me are returning to the hearlands residential areas , we quite by passed the whole crowded orchard and newton area , went all the way to thomson then my hse . Real fast abt 20 or so mins .
SO look at it , I asked for a bus i and quite literally got a bus . Free fast-forwarded ride home .
WHo's to doubt whether God exist?
And it didnt stop just there .
After the final stages of the Nationals A div , to some , it may mark an official but not so practical end , to many whom may have spent many a days working hard for their prize . We did and we could say we achieved so much and be thankful .
Yes there could have been more , but its over , and for every competition , be it a race , a fight , a run , a test , there's always gonna be the pple who emerge above , and others to learn humility below , but each have their stories to tell of their journey , of what they learnt .
GO SA CANOE!!!
Whew .... IN where i have finish my leg of this competition , a gruelling 6 hours wait , a 10 min satisfaction , and the rest of the time to look back and figure out the events leading to it , and also a burden let go from the mind and heart.
Not the best definitely , but a great learning experience nonetheless . The pre -race mental preparation , intensive warm-ups , and last min prayers . I wouldn't really say they didnt work , but its hard to gauge wat kind of response it was due to have .
ANd having opponents who were at the very least rather sportsmanship and friendly helped quite to calm down a panic strickened amateur like me . And the teammates who cheered for me even though i was the closely but yet the last one in .
My point of view at the race .
Prior to launch , Jason the team manager was beside giving last min tips and encouragements , while some others helped carry the boat . Since I was the 2nd last event of the day , most of them were quite free already . Walking thru the gates of the launching pontoon , hugging the paddle tight sieving thru the corwds who were there as well to see several other K1s on their way to launching . That , I thought , definitely were my opponents .
Sizing them up , looking good , still having that tinge of anxiety . Jason told me keep focused on the race , not the competitors , as I did like wise , fearing a lost of concentration would have catastrophic consequences .
Finding a empty spot on the pontoon , motioning to my teammates to put the boat down , and receiving the slaps on the back and final good luck wishes . With one swift move , slotted into the cockpit of the boat , reaching for the paddle , I tired to keep my mind clear of negativity as I tapped twice and moved off the pontoon , made a right turn and headed up the bay towards the starting line.
Bringing the momentum up keeping straight body posture and trying to relax stroke by stroke on an easy paddle up lane . From far the air horn sounded for another race , keeping concentration still , unwilling to budge.A side wind abt 70 degrees to the right of the lanes was blowing hard , sun was hidden behind clouds , and making it a cool environment , almost too comfy .
Reaching the forth set of big buoy , the starting line , the starter boat was calling for the race before me , a T2 race , to line up . Moving further up lane to give space for the T2s to turn for lining up , moved abt 100m further and turned right , made a 270 degree arc turn so that now i face the lanes perpendicularly from the left . Tested water around to keep calm , heart beating faster despite this very slow start . Loitered near the start line .
Till the time starter called for boats to approach . Mistakening it as a call to line up , i went straight for the starting buoys , only to to stopped short , and yelled at over the loudspeaker . Whoops bad start . Starer took attendance , anticipating it , and also cos I am lane 1 , I acknowledged as my boat was called first . ( Here we call each other by boat number , instead of by name nor school , makes it easier since everyone could see your number plate )
Here then boat 3 , (forgot was it RJC or ACJC ) , came over seeing me quite tensed up .
Boat3:" Hey boat 1 , You J1 ah ??"
ME :(nods) "yah"
Boat3: "Yeah all the best for the race !"
ME: (raises paddle in acknowledgement) "Yeah thanks !"
ANd hence calmed me down alot , knowing that I'm not racing against meanies who here to bring u down. Good show of sportsmanship , and which was what also let me start and end on a light heart , instead of slipping into utter depression . Everyone here exchanged good luck and all-the-bests , showing good sports spirit
Finally starter gave order to line up . Suddenly every simply stopped short of the line , reluctant, wary of negligent starts where starter pre maturely starts a race. Starter called again , still no move . Confused i broke the stalemate and moved forward , only then did the rest . Lining up , I was quick to respond to starter line adjustments , all but boat 4 who appears to be deliberately lagging to gain max advantage of a better start .
"Lane 4 one stroke back "
"Lane 1 and 2 , 1 stroke up"
"Lane 3 hold "
"lane 4 hold "
"lane 4 ,1 stroke back "
"All lanes hold "
"Lane 4 hold "
"Lane 4 HOLD!!!"
"lane 4 one stroke back "
"lane 4 HOLD!!!"
"ALL lanes hold!!! "
Finally ...
"STArt in ten ...."
ANd the air horn goes offf . At that instance , alll boats blasted off hard , me too trying to pick up speed and start bursting . Twisting body , utilizing maximum usage of the body to conserve some strength for the arms and also to build up more speed .
Upon reaching next set of bouy , that is 300m mark , wanting to slow down burst frequency and maintain speed . Realised that my picking up and bursting frequency almost matched the others as they started on maintenance strokes , ouch .... So in the end i gritted on and continued without slowing down the frequency , so in a sense i was bursting my way from start to finish .
Halfway to next buoy , abt 250m , feeling dam tired , as the shore line came closer , heard someone cheering for my name . Gritting my teeth i continued twisting . Passing the 200m , I thought i should starting picking up again . BY then i could already see the two adjacent two lanes already abt 1 or 2 boat length ahead from the corner of my eye .
Just here i lost concentration and tilt hard left , which i instinctively braced left , just a touch and go , but losing significant speed . Throwing all else aside , picked up speed again , this time not wanting to lose balance , did not utilize much body effort , pure arm pull that propelled me .
Aching all over , yet the sound of the cheering crowd which i took them alll to be directed at me ... Going into a frenzy , i charged on knowing that though i may not win , i will complete my race beautifully .
By now due to parallax error i could no longer gauge how far ahead was the other boats . COuld see boat 4 or 5 leading abt 3/4 boat length , pulling hard gain , maintain this all the way thru the finish line .
As I passed thru the line , lagging from the first boat , boat 3 no less , by abt 15 secs or so .
At the finish line ,
Boat 3 :(panting) " BOat 1 ! Nice one ! Good race !"
ME: (shag voice) "Yeah man thanks alot....! YOu too ..."
ALL: (turning to one another ) " that was a good race ... " " good job everyone ! " "Boat 1 u J1 ah , nice one !'
ME " yah see ya all around ! "
And that concludes what my race was all about ... Even though i didnt make it past the heats , it was really a good experience racing with them all . A chance to push beyond my limit , testing my skills , meet strong competitors , and grow up a new level .
ITs here , its finally here . Tmrw is the first showdown of the A divs, and somehow , I cant really say I have done a hell lot for it .
Maybe to me , its my first official race experience , I'm more overwhelmed with anxiety and uncertainty , more then the usual fear-mixed-courage and anticipation from others who have seen more than i have .
Today we went over to Bedok for a final check of equipment , had a light paddling sessiion , more psychological than physical based activities , so as to let ourselves be at ease with the environment . IT was actually quite quiet over there , much less than the crowding that was to be expected , and did we get that glimpse of it on Sat , during the offcial boat control .
Yeah that was when we saw all those schools flaunt their branded boats , all the NELO Vanquishes that was the main attraction, the tons of REGGATTAs and LIANGJINs , some more obscure brands whose names i cannot pronounce nor remember from the Northern European country imports ..
That aside , so then had a final briefing of the race days events layouts , logistics , and some mental preparation . Its the kind of feeling which the tension permeates the air yet you know that you're not the one feeling the real tensed up , because after all , my qualification to compete is still underdeveloped.
But yet , the comes with along the sense of belonging to the team , even though this batch isnt really "my" batch , the closeness bonds forged over the past short month did i start training with them . The slaps of the shoulders exchanged and the hand shakes , hugs , words of encouragements , really mattered a lot . Because its now then the sport transforms into a team sport , and we dun race for the individual , but not to let down the hopes we hold for one another .
Putting myself in the shoes of the seniors , its those long years behind the experience , the hardships they must have went thru together , much like how we are now , the countless times we urged one another to perserve on , it sifts thru time to remind us once again .
Which is why it means even more when the captain held your hand shake and stared straight and beseeched u to take down the race proudly , to have the senior girls holding back on the verge of tears and maintain the posture to "scold " and demand u bring back results , to have your own teammates hugging close , and yourself resisting the sensation and tears that threatened to flow . Its not a sign of weakness , its but a show of humanity in its deepest form
This said and done , I now pray not only for myself , but my team , even to all the competitors , for wats a competition without each other? Whatever may befall us , i ask only for strength and protection beyond any human capability , but God alone can.
That didnt really sounded politically correct , but it manages to leave such an imprint in me . NO for this Nationals A div race , it'll be unlikely i'm gonna pit myself against any other racers.
Well technically i still will have to participate and race with em , but its not so much of a competition , not for me at least , if otherwise those schools start sending their years 1s to race . For now , my participation is a race against myself , a suitable competitive environment to push myself beyond my usual grounds .
Much as i am relucutant to succumb to pessimisim , there my aim is not to get last in the race , if possible , to progress beyond the first Heats race . That , to me is breaking new ground . Though not entirely satisfying , it will serve its purpose and i'll be contend.
GOd, help me to fufil what was meant to be mine , not any more , nor less , lest i miss the lessons to be learnt behind all those hardships
But it still bugs me : why compete if not to win?
What is my defination of winning? "ITs to yourself", someone says , and for that moment i understood why down the ages pple always say to beat yourself before beating others . I have not yet conquered my own comfort zone , neither have i really taken on the burden of competitive racing , i do not yet know what am i able to achieve . So its just me and the previous records of timings , my competitors are but externalities that provide a target and an inspiration, one on one .
If i could win myself , you'll neva beat me .
ANd those BSing pple , i could only forgive and let go .... Its ok , i've been there , and i know what it felt like ....
Woah ...
Right its the aftermath of the CTs which offered us a glimspe of the progress we are making in school curriculum . Go blog surfing and you'll find almost every school's students hurling obscenities at everything that contributed to the misery . And its not any better for me , no but i refrain from staining this site ( i'm not such a vulgar person dun ya think) .
ITs a whooped U for maths , which was much expected considering i only touched it the last few days available . And a mind blowing C for physics , which i was most pissed with since its the sub i spent most time in and was more confident ... C for physics , guess no H3 for me , not if only some miraculous coincidence comes knocking .
NO space for regrets , since i hadnt really committed much in studying , cept for those study sessions with team or after training study at bishan lib , much of which productivity was an all-time low . But serious , i dun want to have to make it this way . I wasnt born to accept circumstances imposed limitations without a struggle , even if i'm going in an exam hall with nought knowledge of it i'll squeeze every available mark out of the questions with homemade theories , special logical derivations and skillfully phrase explanations that even i find quite interesting even though they were out of place ... ( i wrote a paragraph full of explanation and justification of my answer in the maths paper )
Back to training issues , there doesnt seem to be any turn of luck . Bad bad bad average timings that make me wonder what the hell am i participating in the race at all ... Ending up in a weird race , at a weird time , with weird competitors , shat i might as well be training just so that i wont get last in the race and malu in front of the crowd . Its not consoling to know that there'll be tons of others i know around to see me lagg behind the pack which , i dun really want to admit . Its what we speak into existence that can affect the way it happens . After all didnt God say " let there be light " and there was light?
Man i've been missing church too often its becoming a norm . Makes me feel guilty that i'm not feeling guilty for doing so . Duh
OK training today after school was kind of wrapping up the loose ends so that they dun trip u over when u're trying to utillise them . INstead of chionging to clock timing again , this time we were given the freedom to go out on our own , go own time own target , focus more on technique and familiarization , visualization . Not that it didnt help , but i kinda lost my aim and wandered off to my own world .
PLus the fact that TPJC was around playing afool at the pontoon , clogging up vital channels , making their presence truly felt , irritating everyone . Ah MJC popped out of nowhere , but they sticked to the unwritten rules and kept out of our business likewise we did our best to accomodate . IN the end it was still a mess . And since the rest of the J1s joined us today , ah , so we went overtime again .
In addition to the short sprints with the seniors , I managed to get myself arrowed for K4 near end of training . Went a few rounds with RS,GJ and Nic . Well , the K4 was a good springboard and stepping stone to getting confience in K boats paddling , since they given somewhat controlled stability enough to start paddling , but once gotten familiarized with K1 , K4 became a nuisance. Its like once u gotten fine tuned to the motion of sustained paddling , u get the feeling of each and every rock , tilt , lean , list , how they fare , what they lead to , how dangerous , how to react to it .
So systematically u'll come up with a mind programming known as habits which are unique to yourself . But in a K4 , this neva works . Even more that i'm at the back , my movements are felt the most by the others in the boat . Movements that i am familiar with , that i know are not dangerous , and which i know can e constructive , like the mini tilts when recoverying strokes , but not so to others who developed a different sets of habits such that they react so completely different to u ... Multiply that by 4 and u have a very slow K4 ...
And since most of them very hum when paddling , m given my vantage position at the back which allows me to oversee everyone and more control on boat , me many times purposely give them violent but controlled jerks to scare em to moving offf .... whoo sry me not trying to act seh here hahax
Ah ok some other intersting things , and since i sorta promised Nic to post abt him ... Yeah today Chris was perpetually stuck to him thruout ... Or maybe not just so happens that when i return for breaks in between sets , passing by always see em together , Chris cap Nic was towing her , Nic tailing her from behind ... Eh not my fault that i just so happen to see this everytime , so cant blame me for thinking so hahax ...
And yah dinner time since eating together , and the lack of seating made us split 3 ways , with 3 differnt conversation topics ... My table talking all serious stufff :future trainging , issues abt the team , exams etc ... RS's table all talking abt something abt comparing who armpit hair long ???
3rd table was Chris who's still with Nic, and i dunno wat they takl talk talk abt ... That being so , chris was asking me to sit with em if not like a bit ostracising them lahx ...
ME tactfully turned it down for obvious reasons : it takes skill to be an effective light bulb .
