Now we have that to be , some sort of much awaited rest period that was feels good enough, letting off the tension for just awhile before embarking on a new journey.

That means: school's starting soon


We'll like to think that way, its kind of a weird way to end this year, with the companionship of a different bunch of frens.
People from different backgrounds and characteristics, forged into common identity and comeradeship by a sworn oath, that which we now call our team . ( ok we didnt swear no oaths when joining, but heck u get my point)

Christmas countdown? ALternative tactics used was to not go town anymore cos its quite senseless to go in and attacked by spray cans and gropers .
Hanged around at vivocity and sat down with portions of the team , in relative peace and tranquility ( that the right word to use?) chatted. enjoying the presence of each other, admiring the the sea scenery and night sky view, mindlessly hoping that some angels would appear from heaven and serve as a choir to complete that kind of atmosphere.

Whoever thought of that original idea of going vivo, yeah thanks for that, and stopping me from going town.
THough when going home that night i almost got chased by stray dogs :(((

Christmas Eve, really there's little point of counting down afterall, which u see many forgoing the true meaning behind it all. Cliched it may sound, but that what which was meant for is used as an excuse to party on yeah .


I dun need to say it all out, but if u still dun know what Christmas is ; GO to church.




Yupps then Christmas Day itself was spent going to church in the morn with Qian and Yong , despite everyone lacking sleep.
As was put blankly, it was good, to say the least , if otherwise right, cos its been so looooong since then.
Guess its time to find back the me i left behind here.

OH yeah random stuffs along then, on the way to church at the mrt i came across a scene of this guy talking out loud to himself. Me being me, i tried moving closer to hear it out and get an idea of what's going on.

Sounds like a nuts case, but some sort of high class nuts case. It was a man in about forties, in decent clothing, talking to thin air , advising about some sort of legal or financial business. Sounds like he's a lawyer or property investor of some sort , or he thinks he is .

That which made me think , its like , after spending a quarter of your life in education, another quarter sluggiing out in the real working world, this is what life could produce. A dark side of nature, making a man lose his purpose, that , or making him slip into a world of his own.

I thought, how does it really feel like to be in that kind of position. The world would be diffenrt, subjective, and very much restricted to his own point of view. Given the way he was arguing with "air" , sounds like he's insistent on his own ways.

Kind of a tragedy if u think of it , a great life and future spoilt by, whatever factors that led to that.

for all that the world could offer , that is

For what is training

Right so long since i posted , cos now, ha i (or rather my dad) fixed the comp, so it doesnt have so many problems.





Life is , training. Nothing else.





This holidays, despite promises to be active in church more, to study more, they don't seem to count for anything. Training.



Round Ubin came and went, of which i sank and returned. Then comes another endless routine of long distance training for the upcoming Canoe Marathon. And its , taking its toll. Losing the idea of studying in JC , sometimes i wonder what am i doing here for. Losing the idea of training, and i wonder... Why do i train for.



Why do i do things but give it up in future to replace with another impulsion interest.

Kept sane by the constant companionship of teammates, that otherwise, oh my, i realise i dun have anything else.



So now we resist anything that tries to disturb the stability of the team bond, that included those unfortunate incidences, which well, ultimately goes out to a selfish purpose.

Its not about running away from difficulties, but there's just so much that could be done in its face.



Ok fine that would just mean we'll have to move on.





Training~~~~~



Aye long dist training just means i'm left forever to chase people in front. And that what i;ve been doing, other than keeping people from chasing up to you. Thats just like any race.

Time trials, well, satisfying, but not contented.



Ahh losing track of time, since which is which training session did each event occur i cant remb.



Lets just say the Christmas break is something worth looking out for...

Can't be strangers

Right so now just came back from a real eventful day.

Morning whizzed past fast in the Pasir Ris SSC , waiting for people, then more waiting for coach, before getting to real work doing boat maintainence on site.

Then only did we got down to test the water conditions at the Pasir Ris coastline.
Yes and i empahisize the coastline, because we never got to go out any further then the coastline region.
Wave condition, i would put it, to be something like having a lot of powerboats doing endless power runs past our boats. MOreover, these K2s and K1s are flatwater sprinting boats, and when put into choppy conditions as bad as these, we never got a chance to paddle proper strokes.

Took a K1 out, since coach refused to put out our K2 in those conditions, but the session lasted barely 30 mins, for fear of damaging the equipment. Yeah the tapping strokes had to be so frequent and hard, i thought my blade wouldn't last out. Being bullied by metre tall waves, yes they were at least a metre from trough to crest, and when sitted down in the kayak, they overshadow you.

Bedok <>

You could never hope to have conditions like that in a reservoir. And we may yet to need to abandon the race tmrw if conditions doesnt change for the better. So much for the long distance trainings.
BUt then again, it was real fun riding the waves using sprint kayaks. The bow could angle down all the way till the water line was at the cockpit combing, and the next wave would literally crash into our small little boats, utterly flooding the interior.

Heck, i would have gladly paid the $20 race fee just to come here and play with the water. Hehz



After that was a period of transition, while i went over to Mark's house for a reunion outing of PAE 07s07 .. Yupps no doubt it was as usual round of talking, a closer bonding session. And its always have to be that after we parted then do we treasure the bonds we once had. Nevertheless, it wasn't awkward at all, since everyone still pretty retained the bonds shared.

Eating junk foods just one day before race is a sin, something i might have to foot the consequences.
And to add on the the carnage, MArk brought out his private stash of citrus vodka and whatever cocktail mix was that. Since it was quite a first time had I hanged out with friends in the presence and availabilitiy of liquor, I thought I might as well take the opportunity and try it out. Wouldn't hurt i guess...

Thus i downed till I flushed red, it wasnt a lot , just a small plastic cup of that vodka , and the cokctail milk mix, enough to make me start smiling senselessly, followed by a headache i couldnt help but drop onto the table while the rest of them continued talking.

A short rest nap on the couch while some played cards did help to soothe the whirling...

And for once, i decided to return home voluntarily on taxi.

Hence ended this little outing we had, since Arun is leaving for Aust soon, make do for a little farewell party for him then.

The bonds we once shared, may it last till. Yet i'm quite surprised the time span since we met didnt degrade us to the awkwardness amongst strangers, that is.

28 Nov 2007

The morning started off on a rather low note, late for training despite flying down on a cab, yeah and that’s just the start of a chain reaction that kinda wrecked the training session for me at least. Being late, given a talking, punished 300 push ups then I got to rushing around getting my own equipment ready, then rushing all the way to fill up the water bag only to have it leak half its contents out because I didn’t cap it properly in the rush.

OK there goes my recovery drink. Hastily started out, with no warm up since everyone was already done with it and waiting.
The 500m up and down sets at high power didn’t do much good, since right at the start I burned out , not being able to fully utilize all that I got, and becoming more and more demoralized with each passing set. Until the fact I regretted going for more, save that supposed to be more practice and more training, it did only to make me more down and use even lesser strength. There you have the power of the mind, but then, I was completely off the mood for training.

True I could blame a lot of factors; the bad morning start off, lack of energy, the strong up winds, the lack of a warm up, people cutting lanes etc etc.

Ultimately it comes to the knowledge that, hey , its just I allowed those to take the negative impact on me. Its not about how badly they will do, hell you cant blame the devil trying to disrupt your life; that’s just his job.
What you could do is protect yourself against him. That’s where I failed, that’s where during training, I allowed myself , for that moment, to wallow in self pity and the “ its-not-fair-for-me” mindset. Yes, and that’s where I have to take responsibility for, and the price is a wasted training session, just mere days before the Ubin race.



That’s just one of the bad stuff that has to happen. On a higher note the day had much excitement brewing in its bowels. Hanged around after training, wasted some time before heading over to Queensway to collect the new jerseys and thereafter, headed on to Qian’s or rather her brother’s chalet to hijack it for the night.

Took some time settled down and played our night away.

Finding it a first time , know that really, there wasn’t really much to make of one’s birthday. Not that it really mattered, because, for the past years, its all been just as normal as any other day. Maybe the dinner would be better, but that’s just about it anyway.

But since, this time I wasn’t spending it at home. And I really do mean it when I say it was really a surprise, the way it was brought forth. Even though I didn’t really make a lot out of it, but yeah, I really do appreciate that.


THANKS TEAM … that ‘lil gesture meant a lot … Hehz



And hence continued the night away, playing cards till late late into the night until one by one the people collapsed, those who did so early got the best rooms and beds, those who didn’t made do on the floor, with stolen pillows and blankets and towels ..










29 Nov 2007


Right spent the early morn slacking, allowing this bit of enjoyment outside of training , that which comes so rarely.

Towned and watched “The Kingdom” , something which touched about the terrorism issues in the middle east, one of those shoot-em-up movies that probably worth watching only on TV. OK I shan't spoil too much, but then again there’s just that something I felt most about the movie.

Those who watched it will know, like when the head villian was dying, something he whispered to his granddaughter, very much similar to how the female lead was comforted upon the knowledge of the death of her close friend. A promise that “we will go kill them all” .

Kind of put to thinking that, its really alarming how vengeance can comfort. Yes it is saying that the thought of revenge, of violent retribution can serve as a motivation for life which is quite something which happens in the world today.

Kinda disappointing to find out that the ending has to end so negatively, in a note to say that actually glamorizes violence. I was expecting the director to put in something like “ Don’t worry life still goes on” , or , “ Its ok there’s still hope” kind of message to include when character faced the death of a loved one.

Then again, its just this world that’s going about it. Go find any Doomsday talk in any religion and you find that it says that THE END comes preceded with a period of mass violence, moral degration and the likes of it.
Who’s to say the world’s going to last forever?




And hence after got back to Bedok to train illegally with TP, and since it became like a self training session with not much of a program in place, I went on with my own 500m sets while Eugene goes for his rounds.

Same kind of feeling , reminiscence of the A divs race again, using the same boat, same paddle, same lanes, but a much different me. A different feeling though, no one’s looking, no one expecting much, no stress, no competition, just a maxx effort in the the sprint. Taking revenge for the lost training the day before, and the last time trial which went so horribly wrong for me. Hmm lets just say I’m playing around for now ..


Back then when the race meant so much for all that I fought for. As I paddled down I was thinking, hey its just how much u really want for it, that kind of dissatisfaction that pushes you to fight even harder.

Because I was dissatisfied then, being left out of the PA championship race in June wasn’t quite the way I intended to be. So I fought, for every training, for every bit of time I get to practice with the K1. The passion to win, not the actual race, but the fight to get to participate in the A Divs in July was that overwhelming factor.

I fought , and hence , qualified me to say, I got what I fought for. And its this kind of self training that allows the active exploration of skills learnt, and putting it to practical use. So for once, at least it was worth the while.