Guess there are people that I naturally cant mix with, or dont want to , or just plain simply dislike. I know its not supposed to happen this way, but its quite scary to find out just how negative your mind can form an image of him( her/it) everytime no matter what is done.

Growing out of it will take sometime, and self-talk seems to serve the purpose in trying to decide the path to take.

Its quite a mystery, considering how little i know about or understand in this field of study. Unless of course i experience first hand and decipher the underlying meanings of the interactions. Pulling out, getting a clearer view than being stuck up in a selfish and self centered view on things, and realise just how petty I can get.

Yet i choose to believe in one mask i created, and thats just me as I see it, and trying to become. Danger point here, cos i dont know where it will lead to, or what it ends up as. God merciful enough to show and guide me, if not i may just lose myself in the daily goings.


On random note , i think i need to go on a cold turkey on coffee. Its amazingly addictive and i cant live without. I know , so i want to prevent myself being enslaved.

Wow and then, I became lost in the mess that came thereafter. Not mine, definitely not mine, but under every circumstances I just had to poke myself in. Fine fine that me.


And life requires a little more than adaptation, now without trainings, the weekends become a time lapse to fill. Like yah, something to make myself worth the time spent. Nigel came and spent the week cos he, of all things, had to get out of the house because of some family conflict. Aye which otherwise got me to had to semi pack the room a bit, ok not really just the table and bed. Nicen it up a bit, since when was the last time I spent time in the room other than for sleeping.

Hmm which otherwise brought up the point when seeing Qian’s place, provided a little insight on how to get a tit more organized, afterall now that no more trainings, time has to spent studying yo. And it wont do having a room that supports little productivity. Spent the Saturday packing my files and papers and revamping it a while, planned a personal study timetable and sorts. Wells its time to shift the gear a notch, mindset to be shifted, just that I wonder how long this surge of studying enthusiasm will last.


On a random note , today was super charged up, like yeah literally. Got 3 static shocks just in a single shopping trip out.



Then again it was yet another of those minor little details along the street that caught my attention. Down in novena MRT’s tunnel link, the long long one that links to united square, an echo-y walkway, came the music of a street busker. Factor in the possibility that he’s been around for some time already, the voice, strong and enunciating his words well.

And the words drifted, coupled with a too familiar tone “ God will make a way…when there seems to be no way…” . How comforting huh.


You get my point, it applies, every time, even when days are not troubled and nights are not emo. Sounds good enough, the beauty of the song. Aye