A different way of doing things

Thought that , by now should've realised , that the world won't always work according to your ways , and there'll be pple u dun like just so close to u . And having to live with that , its not always easy .
But since when things in life ever was , considering the fact that hell , we don't even know exactly how the world functions .
BUT the least that could be done , is , not to bitch around too much . No matter how much an asshole the person resembled , how he shot u in the back while ur best armour was strapped in ur front .

It doesnt help if u could list out more things in words what he did wrong to you than all that ur computer could store; digital files are not matter and wont hurt if u threw it at him , unless u threw ur computer at him , thats another story .

Excess in bitching not only does it keeps ur at levels of tension higher than healthy levels , it actually undermines a your own integrity and the opinion of others of yourself that receives your whinning . That , in itself , warrant enough reason why not to bitch .




OK updating my own life journal ... Relay duathlon at BEdok the past SAT was something rather new , in competitive events that encompassed both on land and on water , both myself and my partner . Though i didnt win anything in the superficial sense , not like almost everyone else around me with the prizes and medals , the learning process never stops going on and on .

Endurance , not the body but the mind , by pure willpower to prevent pple overtaking during the race , that is pushing ur body further by that will , instead of trying to Jedi Mind Trick ur opponent to give way . THAT , by experience , has never failed to fail to work .

And also the mind , the spirit of competitiveness , to excel beyond ur peers that , roots within everyone else who stood out amongst. To set a target , even if its ur closest friend , to defeat him , in a race , in gauging ability , and it will mean a lot in the long run to see who stands out . It doesnt need to be an elimination match , but it would suffice even only for self satisfaction .

THAT is my motivation for all my self trainings .



After which is the team bbq , ate played and played and crapped . That could summarise .
Save for the part which i tried to play my role as Log Head during the preparation phase of the bbq , which us the juniors treated the seniors. Quite ex , but it was rather worthwhile .



Missed church AGAIN on sun , for no particular reason , basically was a plain overslept from the past night of playing and fooling around . Allowed the day to rot away doing nothing impt .




Monday's training was something new ...
Instead on Gym , we went over the other side of the Village bridge to SAS to use the SAV swimming pool , which then coincides with the water polo peeps training . So we made do to the nearer shallower end of the pool and let the polo peeps train in peace and have the other end of the pool .
Partially because we're kind and partially becasue we dun want to have to use the darn deep end of the pool and end up drowning since we didnt have a life vest .

Those with H2 Econs had to join an hour late , so the meagre pple around started warm up , swam tons of laps and picking tips from Mr Q abt basic techniques and all that . Till i almost cramp ... It sucks to cramp in a pool ...

Directional control was the major issue , since i dun have a rudder attached to my rear end , and i couldnt see where i was heading when half the time my head was under water without goggles . And guess everyone else is the same since we started cutting "lanes " like no one's business .

That was followed by a session of playing some noob polo-captain's ball hybrid much to the amusement of the actual polo team . Jack with his ultimate own goal , Nelson with his ultra underwater jumps , Jon with height and speed , and everyone else splashing water .


That was really a great enjoyment incorporated into training , which was also hardcore cardio workout .


Right ... Morning training tmrw ... Fitness assessment this Fri , team K1 time trial this Sat ... Lets just hope my K1 skills are still functional ... ANd i shall have to make my choice dam soon ...

Being easily influenced

AH ok , so much for being easily influenced ...


And hence i missed the FOP due to external influence . All three sessions of them . Kay doesnt sound that bad , but last year around this time , i was not to take this down lightly . To leave it to conscience thinking that , so as long what i think i'm doing is the right thing .

TO be guilty of it is to be struck by ur own conscience , but what if the very conscience is diluted by the lure of everyday things in life ?



Fridays training was rather fufilling , long time (act not so long ) had land training like that . The satisfaction of having exerted strength using every part of the body , and then recovering , and then push again . On and on , yet it doesnt feel so daunting by now .
Gone were the early days when i used to dread land trainings .


Saturday was a much different experience .
Having settled down , equipment and all that , while the rest was busy getting paddles arranging boats , heheh , I with the help of the seniors who were there to train for fun , took out the brand new C1s and took some time to assemble it trial and error .

And jonathan the ex-captain kindly availed himself to teach me the basics of C1-ing , nevertheless since the club manager didnt allow us to borrow the spare plastic oar , we had to make to with only one carbon C paddle , and sharing it with the seniors who wanted to play with the C1

Good progress though i would admit , but somehow , its like returning back to the basics .

IF otherwise , i dun even know should i , or do i want to progress on with C-ing . I like the feeling of speed , of high reps paddling , without having to bother about steering affecting all that .
That which was found in the K1 , no one else bothering u in balance or coordination , your own world , your own frequency , your style of balance ( tilts ) and alll that .

But yet the C1 is a very interesting boat to handle . Intriguing i would say , but maybe cos there isnt much good examples of C1-ners around here in Bedok , well , i would say i havent seen one around . NO one to match up to , nothing to looking forward to become . And thats as much as the C1 is to me .

Well the expectations are such determinant that , abides u to follow . What pple expect of u , and what u really want to do . I dun want to have to live in a world of pretense , but yet i dun want to have to regret the choice , and to waste the efforts put in .

Ultimately its abt decisiveness , a quality i do not possess .


Take some time , try it out . Thats what was said .


Its has to be soon to not lose out . I love the K1 , but i want to love the C1 as well . Thats the problem with me .

And i'm being influenced , always

Abandoned post

Woh ok so now i'm multitasking .

Task 1 : Watching church service online, via the live webcast, cos i woke up late and missed service AGAIN

Task 2 : Meeting my PW groupmates online and coordinating some discussion .

Task 3: Doing online research on PW

Task 4 : Doing EoM

Task 5 : Attempting to blog about the past week but no mood .


OK i try again later cos now abit busy ....

The hand over for us

The weekend then was filled with many events that makes life complicated yet exciting . Well its not the surface that matters but hell yeah its everyday a new level of learning and experiencing first hand .





Right , Friday .







Whacky days never seem to lack around . Maybe its just me , or the people i choose to be around with , but yet , I still don't feel the closeness as a class . NOt a complain , definitely not , the fault is with me , and i just so happen to miss almost every other class bonding activities there is .

Like the speaker workshop during Orientation 2, class outing at sentosa , Learning Journey , various after lesson hangouts .



ITs not that of the way things are meant to be . Which also makes me think back the times in Pae 07s07 .



Not perfect , but it stood as a standard to look out for .





Still on Friday , ah ... Econs test which i ermx , threw it away literally .



EG :



Qns : With reference to Figure 1 , explain how blah blah blah ....



My Ans : The extract gives a good view . However , cross referencing to extract X ... blahblah .....









Ah nvm . And thereafter , met up with the canoeist to go for team dinner downtown .

Changing appettite , which has similar ambience and food as cafe cartel the other day , which has similar ambience to swensons , which has similarity to pizza hut , which has similarity to Macdonald's , which has similarity to Food Junction , which has similarity to S11 (or VARI NICE ) , which has similarity to any old kopitiams u find in HDB estates ,



In which price range has no resemblance to any of the Swenson's or Cafe cartel's .





After that , gathered round at Marina's Square outside large stairway for a briefing and Team Elections .

And always we think about ourselves as the juniors , leaving bigger issues to the seniors , taking a backseat , picking it up at our own pace .
With the elections right before us , its awake up call .

Cap- Eugene
V.Cap-Ceyong , GuanJie
Logistics - ME , Jack
Treasurer- QianWen

Small crew , but big vision . With the passing on of duties , now when people say Team SAJC Canoeing , its us , not them anymore .

And it came rather as a surprise , not cause i cant do nuts , but rather how much am i worth to everyone else to shoulder it . I dun want to have to let pple down , much less myself . HOw will I ever make it out and do it the right way , and i hope i am not sending out a wrong signal to pple around me .

Talked alot about the team , openly , and see the passion each holds for the future , its not gonna be easy , as was stated out right at the start . We are not hoing to remain stagnated , for each year holds a greater future .

After being dismissed , hung back for briefing on the next day's NCC race . 10km . Adminstration and basic race layouts , tactics , lookouts , and tips . Using a simple whiteboard and markers and hands for illustrations , how to overtake , turning , watching , clearing , starting , disaster prevention ( capsize or collision )
.
BIg time , lasted quite long , but nevertheless yet another learning experience . Kinda like those sailing competitions and races , which actually sounds rather cool .

Ah shall talk abt the race tmrw , now very late





OOO yah and to add , God never fails to amaze me with things that comes out of the usual way .


IT was rather late after the gathering and briefing and after Yong boarded his bus . Abt 12 am or so , opp Marina square and i was waiting for 162 .

Seemed to take forever , as more and more pple piled out of the esplanade . Getting really frustrated , cos its late and i am tired and there's a race tmrw . Decided against open cursing for its rude and it wont help the situation .

Mumbled a short prayer , more like a self encouragements . Its not like those long exaggerated prayer nor chanting in the movies .

"Father , I need a bus , Can YOu help ?"



Well there wasnt a audible verbal reply , ( If there was , you're gonna hear it in the headlines )


BUt a few minutes later bus 162 finally came

When i boarded tried to tap card as usual but the machine didnt register . Bus driver said in chinese " shang che shang che , ji qi huai diao liao " --- " Get on the bus , the machine's spoilt"

OK that good so i get a free ride .
And then the driver got up , open the top panel from the front , removed the BUs service no. plate , then got off the bus , removed the no. plate on the outside , and returned to the bus to receive "what -the -hell" gazes from everyone on board .


Annoucing this time in English " Machine spoil , if you want to alight just press the bell "


And so he sped off , literally , not accepting any more passenger . And since there wasnt much pple on board , and all them inculding me are returning to the hearlands residential areas , we quite by passed the whole crowded orchard and newton area , went all the way to thomson then my hse . Real fast abt 20 or so mins .


SO look at it , I asked for a bus i and quite literally got a bus . Free fast-forwarded ride home .

WHo's to doubt whether God exist?

The dumb Gu niang rules

And it didnt stop just there .





After the final stages of the Nationals A div , to some , it may mark an official but not so practical end , to many whom may have spent many a days working hard for their prize . We did and we could say we achieved so much and be thankful .

Yes there could have been more , but its over , and for every competition , be it a race , a fight , a run , a test , there's always gonna be the pple who emerge above , and others to learn humility below , but each have their stories to tell of their journey , of what they learnt .

As for now , the focus is still the same . This Sat shall be National Canoeing Championships. Though this somewhat a bigger event than the A div , being open category and all , it doesnt really sound so bad than the last time .
Me taking K2 10000m with CeYong . Given barely a week or so to practice coordination and teamwork and mutual understanding that is so impt for any K2 competitors , well that might as well have been taking our K1s and glueing them together .



Shifted boats over to Macritchie on tues , had some light paddling to get familiarized with the environment . And actually went overboard .
Coach took us into the far depths of the reservoir , all the way beyond the golf course and way past the legal borders of activity area. Unknowingly because it was rather long since he was around training in Macritchie as his days a national rower . And so when we returned there was the canoe club manager and the national coach waiting for us confronting us with the fact that we broke the rules and wanted to book us with some PUB authority etc etc....

With his usual humour , he laughed it off . Exclaiming the how "GU niang" the rules have changed .



ANd we probably broke as many rules as we could have over at the foreign territory .

Seeing that the pontoons were quite crowded with HCI and the others , we took the initiative to launch off the muddy shoreline like we did in Bedok's rocky shores . Kicked up so much of the mud and dirt and whatever that the surrounding waters turned muddy . So much for a reservoir.

Cutting lanes like we own them doesnt sound as bad as that , but thats probably an unwritten rule somewhere isnt it ?

Macritchie supposedly wont welcome us for the next visit , but What-The-Hell ...



All right , and back to today , having the post race review at school , coach came specially for this , not much as of a video viewing , with tips and comments and feedbacks here and there . More of it was coach having us to share our experiences and then him talking about the seniors future , the plans for the team etc ...

As I said , i'm with the seniors squad and it might not always be relevant for me . Its the same way all the while these months , putting myself in their shoes and trying to imagine what would be my reactions if i were them.
And its gonna be weird without them around in training. NOt that I'm emo-ing , ( i rarely ever do ) but it will take some time to get used to . Come to think of it , its july now , half the year is gone so soon , thats like a quarter of our JC life . We better get working to make this time worth while .

Soon we'll find ourselves being the seniors , so its up to us to question our functioning as a team to have something to show for that .


BUt first for me , I still have ALOT to work on .
I wont always take it down being the rear end pack . ...

Not my race

GO SA CANOE!!!

Whew .... IN where i have finish my leg of this competition , a gruelling 6 hours wait , a 10 min satisfaction , and the rest of the time to look back and figure out the events leading to it , and also a burden let go from the mind and heart.

Not the best definitely , but a great learning experience nonetheless . The pre -race mental preparation , intensive warm-ups , and last min prayers . I wouldn't really say they didnt work , but its hard to gauge wat kind of response it was due to have .

ANd having opponents who were at the very least rather sportsmanship and friendly helped quite to calm down a panic strickened amateur like me . And the teammates who cheered for me even though i was the closely but yet the last one in .


My point of view at the race .

Prior to launch , Jason the team manager was beside giving last min tips and encouragements , while some others helped carry the boat . Since I was the 2nd last event of the day , most of them were quite free already . Walking thru the gates of the launching pontoon , hugging the paddle tight sieving thru the corwds who were there as well to see several other K1s on their way to launching . That , I thought , definitely were my opponents .
Sizing them up , looking good , still having that tinge of anxiety . Jason told me keep focused on the race , not the competitors , as I did like wise , fearing a lost of concentration would have catastrophic consequences .

Finding a empty spot on the pontoon , motioning to my teammates to put the boat down , and receiving the slaps on the back and final good luck wishes . With one swift move , slotted into the cockpit of the boat , reaching for the paddle , I tired to keep my mind clear of negativity as I tapped twice and moved off the pontoon , made a right turn and headed up the bay towards the starting line.

Bringing the momentum up keeping straight body posture and trying to relax stroke by stroke on an easy paddle up lane . From far the air horn sounded for another race , keeping concentration still , unwilling to budge.A side wind abt 70 degrees to the right of the lanes was blowing hard , sun was hidden behind clouds , and making it a cool environment , almost too comfy .

Reaching the forth set of big buoy , the starting line , the starter boat was calling for the race before me , a T2 race , to line up . Moving further up lane to give space for the T2s to turn for lining up , moved abt 100m further and turned right , made a 270 degree arc turn so that now i face the lanes perpendicularly from the left . Tested water around to keep calm , heart beating faster despite this very slow start . Loitered near the start line .

Till the time starter called for boats to approach . Mistakening it as a call to line up , i went straight for the starting buoys , only to to stopped short , and yelled at over the loudspeaker . Whoops bad start . Starer took attendance , anticipating it , and also cos I am lane 1 , I acknowledged as my boat was called first . ( Here we call each other by boat number , instead of by name nor school , makes it easier since everyone could see your number plate )

Here then boat 3 , (forgot was it RJC or ACJC ) , came over seeing me quite tensed up .

Boat3:" Hey boat 1 , You J1 ah ??"
ME :(nods) "yah"
Boat3: "Yeah all the best for the race !"
ME: (raises paddle in acknowledgement) "Yeah thanks !"

ANd hence calmed me down alot , knowing that I'm not racing against meanies who here to bring u down. Good show of sportsmanship , and which was what also let me start and end on a light heart , instead of slipping into utter depression . Everyone here exchanged good luck and all-the-bests , showing good sports spirit

Finally starter gave order to line up . Suddenly every simply stopped short of the line , reluctant, wary of negligent starts where starter pre maturely starts a race. Starter called again , still no move . Confused i broke the stalemate and moved forward , only then did the rest . Lining up , I was quick to respond to starter line adjustments , all but boat 4 who appears to be deliberately lagging to gain max advantage of a better start .

"Lane 4 one stroke back "
"Lane 1 and 2 , 1 stroke up"
"Lane 3 hold "
"lane 4 hold "
"lane 4 ,1 stroke back "
"All lanes hold "
"Lane 4 hold "
"Lane 4 HOLD!!!"
"lane 4 one stroke back "
"lane 4 HOLD!!!"
"ALL lanes hold!!! "

Finally ...


"STArt in ten ...."

ANd the air horn goes offf . At that instance , alll boats blasted off hard , me too trying to pick up speed and start bursting . Twisting body , utilizing maximum usage of the body to conserve some strength for the arms and also to build up more speed .

Upon reaching next set of bouy , that is 300m mark , wanting to slow down burst frequency and maintain speed . Realised that my picking up and bursting frequency almost matched the others as they started on maintenance strokes , ouch .... So in the end i gritted on and continued without slowing down the frequency , so in a sense i was bursting my way from start to finish .

Halfway to next buoy , abt 250m , feeling dam tired , as the shore line came closer , heard someone cheering for my name . Gritting my teeth i continued twisting . Passing the 200m , I thought i should starting picking up again . BY then i could already see the two adjacent two lanes already abt 1 or 2 boat length ahead from the corner of my eye .

Just here i lost concentration and tilt hard left , which i instinctively braced left , just a touch and go , but losing significant speed . Throwing all else aside , picked up speed again , this time not wanting to lose balance , did not utilize much body effort , pure arm pull that propelled me .

Aching all over , yet the sound of the cheering crowd which i took them alll to be directed at me ... Going into a frenzy , i charged on knowing that though i may not win , i will complete my race beautifully .

By now due to parallax error i could no longer gauge how far ahead was the other boats . COuld see boat 4 or 5 leading abt 3/4 boat length , pulling hard gain , maintain this all the way thru the finish line .

As I passed thru the line , lagging from the first boat , boat 3 no less , by abt 15 secs or so .


At the finish line ,


Boat 3 :(panting) " BOat 1 ! Nice one ! Good race !"
ME: (shag voice) "Yeah man thanks alot....! YOu too ..."
ALL: (turning to one another ) " that was a good race ... " " good job everyone ! " "Boat 1 u J1 ah , nice one !'
ME " yah see ya all around ! "


And that concludes what my race was all about ... Even though i didnt make it past the heats , it was really a good experience racing with them all . A chance to push beyond my limit , testing my skills , meet strong competitors , and grow up a new level .

Our hopes

ITs here , its finally here . Tmrw is the first showdown of the A divs, and somehow , I cant really say I have done a hell lot for it .
Maybe to me , its my first official race experience , I'm more overwhelmed with anxiety and uncertainty , more then the usual fear-mixed-courage and anticipation from others who have seen more than i have .

Today we went over to Bedok for a final check of equipment , had a light paddling sessiion , more psychological than physical based activities , so as to let ourselves be at ease with the environment . IT was actually quite quiet over there , much less than the crowding that was to be expected , and did we get that glimpse of it on Sat , during the offcial boat control .
Yeah that was when we saw all those schools flaunt their branded boats , all the NELO Vanquishes that was the main attraction, the tons of REGGATTAs and LIANGJINs , some more obscure brands whose names i cannot pronounce nor remember from the Northern European country imports ..


That aside , so then had a final briefing of the race days events layouts , logistics , and some mental preparation . Its the kind of feeling which the tension permeates the air yet you know that you're not the one feeling the real tensed up , because after all , my qualification to compete is still underdeveloped.

But yet , the comes with along the sense of belonging to the team , even though this batch isnt really "my" batch , the closeness bonds forged over the past short month did i start training with them . The slaps of the shoulders exchanged and the hand shakes , hugs , words of encouragements , really mattered a lot . Because its now then the sport transforms into a team sport , and we dun race for the individual , but not to let down the hopes we hold for one another .

Putting myself in the shoes of the seniors , its those long years behind the experience , the hardships they must have went thru together , much like how we are now , the countless times we urged one another to perserve on , it sifts thru time to remind us once again .

Which is why it means even more when the captain held your hand shake and stared straight and beseeched u to take down the race proudly , to have the senior girls holding back on the verge of tears and maintain the posture to "scold " and demand u bring back results , to have your own teammates hugging close , and yourself resisting the sensation and tears that threatened to flow . Its not a sign of weakness , its but a show of humanity in its deepest form




This said and done , I now pray not only for myself , but my team , even to all the competitors , for wats a competition without each other? Whatever may befall us , i ask only for strength and protection beyond any human capability , but God alone can.

More than winning

That didnt really sounded politically correct , but it manages to leave such an imprint in me . NO for this Nationals A div race , it'll be unlikely i'm gonna pit myself against any other racers.
Well technically i still will have to participate and race with em , but its not so much of a competition , not for me at least , if otherwise those schools start sending their years 1s to race . For now , my participation is a race against myself , a suitable competitive environment to push myself beyond my usual grounds .

Much as i am relucutant to succumb to pessimisim , there my aim is not to get last in the race , if possible , to progress beyond the first Heats race . That , to me is breaking new ground . Though not entirely satisfying , it will serve its purpose and i'll be contend.
GOd, help me to fufil what was meant to be mine , not any more , nor less , lest i miss the lessons to be learnt behind all those hardships


But it still bugs me : why compete if not to win?

What is my defination of winning? "ITs to yourself", someone says , and for that moment i understood why down the ages pple always say to beat yourself before beating others . I have not yet conquered my own comfort zone , neither have i really taken on the burden of competitive racing , i do not yet know what am i able to achieve . So its just me and the previous records of timings , my competitors are but externalities that provide a target and an inspiration, one on one .

If i could win myself , you'll neva beat me .


ANd those BSing pple , i could only forgive and let go .... Its ok , i've been there , and i know what it felt like ....